Begin and Begin Again – Why Bother?


“You can’t do a blog – you’re too critical of yourself. It would take you 10 days to post anything!”

The tone in which that opinion had been proffered did nothing other than add to my mounting frustration. I quickly concluded that it was an absolutely true statement, as the keyboard I was attempting to utilize was manufactured for 4-year-old fingerspans and there was not a semicolon to be found on the key faces. It would take me two weeks just to type a somewhat legible sentence, let alone an entire set of paragraphs.

Although I usually appreciate the integrity of brutal honesty, the implied lack of faith and denial of support shot a painful, icy shard through my confidence projection. It affected my initial enthusiasm and made me rethink my new undertaking.  Of course I don’t consider myself on par with serious writers, but I do take some pride in producing well written examinations of the thoughts running through my mind.

In my opinion, it shouldn’t hurt to be self-critical, to proof-read, to edit and revise before (and sometimes after) publishing. I see millions (slight exaggeration) of posts by individuals every day that are not worth the 2.2 seconds it takes to scroll past. These range from the most simplistic splash of social media exclamations, to legitimate articles which somehow made their way onto professional news organizations’ sites.

But yes, sometimes a stinging remark, even if not intended to be caustic, can be all it takes to crush an initiative. After all, if those closest to you, who know you best, cannot appreciate what it is you are trying to offer/achieve… why would total strangers?

Am I throwing a little bit of a fit, a little self-indulgent pity party? Maybe. Sometimes that’s all we can do, shriek into the wind to let the frustration whoosh away to the four unseen corners of the universe.

I have never been lacking confidence in regards to sharing my writing. Looking at the disappointment I felt over one truthful statement, I realize how ludicrous it would be to let a few words prevent me from proceeding. It’s a fact that it probably will take me the aforementioned 10 days to post anything because it is my habit to write, edit, scrap, re-write, edit and then tweak, tweak, tweak and sometimes (oftentimes) delete.

I’ve also never been terribly good at static; fluid is much more my character. I’ll chalk that up to the fact that I’m a water sign through-and-through. I have trouble with disciplined practices, unwavering objectives, or pretty much anything that has to fit between two distinct lines or inside a rigid box. I find it very hard to reconcile those traits with the fact that I work in logistics as a profession. I couldn’t be more opposite of myself.

So why bother, indeed? Why try to mold myself and my blogging endeavor into what it’s not? I’ve decided I’ll set some diaphanous parameters and see how it goes; maybe give myself a little direction – with a lot of latitude. Restrictions only serve to limit one’s interests and there is just too much out there that I want to research, discuss, and opine upon!

Sometimes I’ll achieve my personal goal; other times I’ll skip it in favor of accomplishing or enjoying something else altogether. The end-game for me is all the same – personal growth and appreciation. Hopefully, other readers will want to stick around to see what I have managed to tap out on any given day, even if it takes me 10 days to give them the opportunity to judge the characters.

Thanks, in advance, to the community for the support. I promise that I heartily believe in turnaround-is-fair-play and you-get-what-you-give to coin a few well-worn phrases!